Before 2017 comes

It's the last day of 2016 and what better time than now to follow the crowd and do some introspection? But like how I buy new clothes or eat tang yuan (and I think in the future, how I visit graves) I do my introspection throughout the year, whenever I want to, and perhaps way too often for my own good. If you have too much time and too little entertainment, lend your ear and let me share some good things that happened this year and what I hope for next year. Teeheee...

God was and is kind to me. He has shown me much grace in 2016. Friendship is something I treasure and besides the old (ancient and priceless!) friendships I've got, God also gave me friendships in people like Melissa from college. It is so rare, and therefore such a delight, to find people who genuinely enjoy your company as much as you enjoy theirs and who can just talk and talk comfortably about anything and everything. And then there are the new acquaintances made and heartwarming conversations had with Aunty Wei Meng and Chinnoi (my brother's fiancee) which made the latter part of my year warm and fuzzy.

My family reunion took place without any World War III and that was great! Maymay thank you for your counsel and listening ear, and your kindness towards people is an example to me. I think you are too nice sometimes, but then again, it is because you really are nice and this reminds me to be a kinder person as well even if the world is harsh and cold. You are the best sister in the whole world... even though your messages are sometimes very gross, what did I do to be born after you I do not know. But I am glad :)

And finally, I've to make mention of the one and only guy who has a special place in my heart (can you smell the oozing honey) and who has added so much value to my life. Despite the stupid fights we have, I love you. I'm happy that we resolve things rather quickly, apologize easily, and make up adequately (I hope this continues!), I love that you are direct and honest and that you make effort to know me. Keep it up, it's worth it ;) Thank you for loving me.

What are my hopes for 2017?
First, of course, the superficial stuff relating to my education - I want to pass my exams and get an internship. Grant me the strength and diligence and determination to study well, Lord Jesus. Even if I don't feel like it most days. Thank you for the results You've given me in the past and help me not to forget Your goodness to me.

Next, I want to be real. I want to relate to people properly and speak words which give grace, which do not tear down but build up. I want to take opportunities presented to me to share life and the good news with people instead of shying away and succumbing to the countless excuses I give myself.

More than anything else, I want to know God (I say this year after year) and not just go through the motions.

God has given you all you need for life and godliness, he has given you every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, he has given you everything you need to be content, all that you need you already have. So do not be anxious - seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.

Attachment (3)

As each new term approaches, this song comes to mind and I sing it.

Another year is dawning
Dear Father let it be
In working or in waiting
Another year with Thee

It's my new year theme song every year.

So, how has my attachment been going? I'm glad you asked because that's exactly what I'm gonna tell you about! :D

I'm getting increasingly familiar with the litigation process, and in particular, the administrative support behind each piece of paper filed. Sometimes I still daydream about being a therapist (or someone who has the capacity to make others feel great) or a teacher impacting little children. Anyway, in the office, there are holes to punch, things to type, judgments to read, and lessons to learn. And I sure have a lot to learn with regard to relationships at work. The pleasant and unpleasant experiences have been, cumulatively speaking, good for my growth.

Today was exceptional. I was sent to pass something to a partner and ended up having a chat about dogs and relationships at work. She managed to make sense of my string of words and spoke from her experience with such wisdom. This is one lady who has managed to balance her family and work life, while being such a nice people-person to just about everyone from the senior partners to the cleaner lady, confident yet not proud, easy to talk to and non-condescending, which I appreciated very much, considering the fact that I (a very sensitive person) was attempting to bare my soul in seeking counsel. Her faith, she said, plays a big role in the way she treats others (and so should it for me...)

The gist of what she said included:
To always speak what is true.
To be genuine.
To see a person as a person regardless of rank.
To never be mean to others.
To keep away from extremes, neither hiding away completely nor being open about everything personal.
You cannot control what people say about you, but you can control how you react.

Strange how simple thoughts as these would be so meaningful after experiencing conflict with colleagues. And how comforting to have these words spoken in a gentle way to me. This makes me want to be like her in the future.

Dear Lord, let me be someone who glorifies you. Make me more like Christ.

I'll be hitting the sky again in 12 days. Third year begins not long after. Did I mention, 2nd year results were like ais kacang, A B B C! I know it was way better than it would have been without God. May I never think that I could achieve it on my own. The Lord is good and kind to the evil and ungrateful, like me. :)

Attachment (2)

DAY 2-3

Day 2 was exciting! Perhaps the busiest day in my entire short attachment life. I felt much stress but at the end of the day having the stress felt good and I was happy about that. Probably have to get to exercising to decrease heart attack risks.

Accomplishments:
Learnt basic procedures and also how to scan and do binding! :D

I like the people and environment here. Fickle little me who feels like quitting some nights also feels like she wishes to stay forever here. I don't know why I feel like quitting, it's just a feeling of running away. Perhaps I have yet to come to terms that real life work is 9-5.

Day 3 was less exciting but that was good because I lacked a full 8 hours of sleep and so did not have the drive to maintain the same momentum as yesterday. Myself and others were treated for lunches on these two days, so nice right?! Witty and wise conversations over lunch and generous tutoring at random times. Must pass on these blessings in the future.

Accomplishments:
Typed 3 official letters!

Summary of schedule for attachment
Work 1 day, rest 2 days
Work 2 days, rest 2 days
Work 4 days, tripping for 14 days
Work August

I really like how the days are spaced out with breaks in between, not to mention weekend breaks. This initiation into the working world is gradual and for that I am thankful. :)

Attachment

Everyone needs to rave about their first day of internship, or at least, I do!

But first, a little background! Sometime during the holiday post-May2016-exam, I thought of sprucing up my resume. I now know in hindsight, it was n00bly written. Angeline gave me some samples (so indebted to you!) and I am enlightened. On the same night, 18 June (Sat), I mailed in my resume to a firm. Received a reply on Monday, scheduled an interview for Tuesday 10:30am, went to the interview in my mom's clothes and the lady was very chill~ it was nice! I must say I was a bit stressed because I didn't want to make a bad impression (who does, right?) but the light mood helped ease things a lot.

DAY 1

Fast-forward to 1 July, my first day at the firm. Prepare yourselves for my summary!!

I arrived at 9am and was introduced to almost everybody in the firm, friendly staff there, and everyone pronounces my French name quite well. One lady was really helpful in guiding me, going out of her way to point me in the right direction.

For the rest of the morning until 12:30pm, I read two files, and had a mini cockroach scare when one crawled out! I tried to kill it with tissue paper but my efforts were in vain. I injured it though.

12:30-1:30pm had lunch with the chambering student and another lawyer. The student gave me a treat which was nice of her. Spent the rest of the afternoon until 5pm in the student's office, read another two cases, and followed her around like a puppy. Hehe!

5:30-7:45pm Attended a social dinner where a judge gave a speech on their Expectations, learnt a few tips, made acquaintances and traded funny stories. I liked the orange juice and it was fun getting to know people after I've had my orange juice (think I needed the sugar after a long first day haha).

Arrived home a little past 8pm and had small group and supper. I finally laid in bed at 11pm and had a chat with the boyfriend over the phone (yay for free Whatsapp calls!) and then got up to line up the laundry around 12:30am.

Overall, first day went very well. God has blessed me, God is good to me more than I deserve (and I don't deserve anything) so I cannot (and ought not) complain.

Before breakfast, I read Matthew 6 and a bit of Romans. The simple English in the NLT Bible helped me understand how we are made right with God.

Romans 3:20 For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are.
Romans 3:22 We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.
Romans 3:26... God declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.

Yes, the duckweedy post has been dead for approximately two years, you can almost smell the rot. A certain May keeps her blog updates coming like her pineapple jam tarts freshly baked from the oven while a certain Angeline keeps hers occasionally fresh with scenic photographs. I should be like them.

I have photographs too. Let me tell you the story of my exams. It'll be interesting!

Going Home

As can be clearly seen, these are my dark coloured lugggage bags, laptop bag, handbag and umbrella. They look kinda cool waiting for the KLIA Express to take em away to the airport. They were very heavily filled with books so I was really relieved and thankful for the kindly porter who helped me out.

My Study Floor

I like my study area a lot, it gives me the flexibility and breathing space I need.

My Study Bedroom Floor

This was my last subject, also my favourite subject, and possibly the subject with the most papers to recycle. But I haven't recycled them yet, just in case... you know.

At this point, you must be wondering what I wore for exams.

Nice and warm

I wore the same outfit for every paper. The key is to keep warm so that your hands won't shiver more than necessary because you need to write four essays in 3 hours. So wear as many layers as you need to be comfortable and then don't bother changing things up because that causes unnecessary stress and no one really needs that.

I napped. A lot. Didn't take pictures...

Anyway, post-exam period was a lovely time of I-don't-know-what-to-do-but-I-am-at-peace-with-the-world-so-let-me-be. The plan is to read as much as I can to gain knowledge before results are out (Aug 10!) and college resumes.

My love came to visit! This is his gift to me which mom has also been stealing.

Reservoir Park

Our favourite place to sit and chat and be in love.

Attempted Cabonara

First try, edible, could and should be better with a few more tries. I hope to master cabonara someday. I wonder if I'll ever get around to it because quality ingredients are expensive and mistakes can be tough to swallow (literally).

Books

The novel was an exciting read and I could hardly put it down. It has been a long time since I've read a novel. Despite it being fiction, it is still extremely interesting to see how lawyers do their thing because novels are, to an extent, based on real life happenings. Haven't started on the history book.

This holiday, I am reading
- The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller

- Unlocking the Bible by David Pawson

- The Bible

And I am cleaning the fences too. They're dirty with algae. ;)

I wrote this on 29th July 2015 and never published it... until today (16 June 2016)! Haha, enjoy.

21st Birthday, dinners, mentally partying
And there was the brother's homecoming
Still, Malaysian politics is way more happening
Now, to sum it all in a manner entertaining
Delve deep into this soul
Uncover stories still untold
Previously present, and for a long time, hidden
I blow dust off my blog, I have returned

It has been quite a break
Considering all the ups and downs
Not too bad, pretty great
Memories vague
They're starting to fade

Best part of holiday is having the time
To look inside and attempt a rhyme
To see what needs fixing, not pretend all is fine
For over each inch of life, Christ says "Mine!"

Maybe I've suppressed a part of myself
When I started living for the praise of others
And real life will begin when I understand
That only one Audience truly matters

Well, do tell, how has your journey been?
Wretched, hard, guilt-ridden, confusing
Grace, I tried to earn; Love I still try to win
Standing between us is always me, myself and sin

But that's just part of the journey
It doesn't exactly tell the whole story
I sometimes hate this dichotomy
Dear Lord, please help me

Psalm 59:16

But I will sing of your strength

I will sing aloud of your steadfast love

in the morning

For you have been to me

a fortress and a refuge

in the day of my distress

Enemies rise up against me and all the problems and stuff happens.
BUT! I will do what? What am I gonna do? I will *sing* aloud and sing about YOUR -strength-.
God's strength, God's might, God's power! He is very strong! And because he is so strong, he is absolutely capable and sufficient, he can gao tim things. He is strong!

I will also sing aloud about God's -steadfast love-.
Steadfast. God's love is never-changing, endures for forever, really solid and firm, means it's not gonna end and it's not gonna stop and it's not gonna change.
Love. What kind of love is this? Affection, care, concern, patience, kindness, not self-centered (refer to 1 Cor 13). This is the kind of love God has. And it is STEADFAST.

Why do we sing of His strength and steadfast love?
Because! Here's the reason! >>> You HAVE BEEN to me a Fortress and a Refuge in the day of my distress.
"Have been" means he has already been, he has proven to be, and you have seen it to be true before.

A Fortress. Stronghold, a secure defence, that protects you.
A Refuge. Hiding place, where you find safety, peace and rest, for refugees, that you hide in.
This is why we sing of His strength and steadfast love, because he has been our Fortress and Refuge.

You have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.
In the day of my anxiety, pain, sorrow, heartbreak, hurt, uncertainty, in the day when there is fear and when everything is crumbling and being destroyed around me.

In /that/ day, You, God, have been my fortress and my refuge.
And so I will start my day, remembering this and singing of your strength (You are super strong and capable), and your steadfast love (that is absolutely sure). Thank You God for your Word.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases...