Thus begins the final week of my month-long retreat in the hometown - until January, because CNY is just around the corner hehe.

Turn away now if you are not interested in weddings... ok... It's too late now, brace yourself for a post on bridesmaids and all things nice and whimsical.

The past three days have been the most fruitful with regard to getting bridesmaid stuff done. May May is getting married in 5 months waaaaah! She has two bridesmaids and this may be the optimum number of bridesmaids to have. I, and a dear friend of my soon-to-be-wedded sister, have a very limited amount of time together to do important stuff (like dress hunting) so we got major things done early... (like, 5 months early, but it's always better earlier than never) which makes it funny, crazy and awesome at the same time.

Bits and pieces from Bridesmaid Adventures:

1. My sister's other bridesmaid and her sister are family friends so things worked out very well! There may be difference in opinions but no spiteful squabbles as can be seen on the Say Yes To The Dress series. It's really cool that we want the best for May May and I am super thankful for good time we had doing stuff. We printed two different designs on the wedding cards (50 of each) because we couldn't figure out which one we liked better and they're both beautiful. Then, we got to the printing shop 15 minutes before it closed. This little rushing saved us about 72 hours... for reasons that are too long to be explained here.

2. To make a nice fold in a wedding card, use the blunt side of a butter knife to draw a line (guided by a straight ruler). Then fold the card in the direction it is supposed to be folded and use the ruler to press it down. There you have it! A professional looking fold without creases that damage the card. Credit goes to my Pa for figuring it out like a genius (with the help of Google).

3. Technographic has (compared to other companies) cheap printing services for your card (or whatever it is that you want to print). It's super easy to find once you know the directions.

4. Dress hunting is an extremely pleasant experience with the right people - it was also an extremely short experience because we found THE dress very quickly. We found the dress (thanks to Amy) in the third shop we entered (thanks to Angeline) in CityONE (thanks to Dad, our Chauffeur) and were able to order another one which will be arriving next month (thanks to God and the Rock Shop and their suppliers). Oh, and our dresses have pockets... Pockets!!!! *ahhhh...* Pockets are just so practical. :P

5. Don't do intense work when you're tired. One's brain can't quite function when overloaded and one may get really impatient with one's Pa. The one thing I dislike more than unnecessary conflict is not resolving the conflict in 5 minutes. So I apologized for snapping... Pa is always ready to forgive. But I think he wasn't offended in the first place so he didn't really know what I was apologizing about. Anyway, yeah, don't overwork yourself.

6. The prospect of surprising and bringing joy to people (in this context, it would be my sister) propels me to finish a project (in this context, cutting wedding cards) ASAP. So, a tip for card-cutter-holics would be to put handiplasts where your fingers are being rubbed raw... then you can continue cutting. But of course, remember to pause for your meals and perhaps a nap (or forget the nap as there's no way you can get a few winks because your mind will be thinking about cutting cards).

Last but not least, don't fold the cards until the date draws near... lest the cockroaches lay their stinky eggs in em.

Dear self,

You are learning to accept. To accept that there will be days you look your best, and there will be days that you look worse than you feel (because you feel comfy in your torn clothes but you may not want to leave the house looking like that).

Stop feeling fake when you're looking your very best (even though you don't carry that image 95% of the time) because it's called "being dressed for the occasion". The you that you are in a chic black dress is the same you in your faded black tee and Cheetah pants.

You are still you - the valuable person that I love. The valuable person that He loves.

Now that you know this, you might want to finish up on your last assignment for the semester.

Thus, the last 3 weeks of my first semester have begun. One sem down, two more to go.

God has blessed. God is so worthy, so true, never-changing - the same yesterday, today and forever. God is real, holy, powerful and good. It is good to remember this when discouraged.

Some of my favourite foods in West Malaysia:
Chapatti is my favourite thing to eat in a mamak
Kopi bru is my favourite drink in that particular mamak
Otak-otak may be my favourite supper (well it sure is the cheapest if we're comparing prices)
Maggi Kari is my favourite Friday dinner.
Luxury biscuits for snacks...

And I haven't gained any weight...

It used to be that I would eat Chappati with Chutney once a week (Thursday breakfast breaks, possibly the best part of Thursday morning class ha ha) but because Monday lunches are not prepared for us, I have upped the Chapatti count to an average of two a week. That means the amount of Chutney in my system might be getting a little unhealthy. Chutney is made of coconut which may or may not cause high cholesterol.

I love my cell group in church - a bunch of us young adults sharing honestly, growing together - intellectually and spiritually, growing towards God. Sundays are great and I am very grateful for them. I can honestly say that I will miss them every holiday when I am back in Kuching.

The weekend was spent with my sister at our aunty's house. At 4:20am (I was sleeping...), I felt something crawl in the blanket and so I pushed it off and continued sleeping. Suddenly, something moved on my thigh! And I sat up and squealed and crushed it dead in my pants with a vengeance! Can you feel how absolutely gross it was??? It was so gross, a few bad words escaped my lips and I am repenting of it. That stupid cockroach who tried to get in my pants is now dead!!!!!!

My brain tells me, "Prisoners living in poor conditions face cockroaches everyday, Rene. You seriously gotta be tougher than this."

Anyway, May is now with the pheeyawnsay in the US of A. He had better take good care of her.

I have one Christian Ethics reflection left to write, several Gospel of Matthew lessons left to prepare and a Children Ministry lesson to perform. And then after that it's holiday for a month and maybe I'll try to earn me some monies... hehehe.

All work done must be done motivated by the love and grace bestowed upon us. The gift of God precedes his demands. So now, I best be getting to work!

Love,
reneyapyapyap!

I went to Seremban last weekend as part of an E-Team.

E-Team stands for Evangelizing Team. But it is more accurate to call it a Ministry Team (M-Team) because our emphasis is on ministry; evangelism just happens to be one of the things that is done. However, I'm used to saying E-Team and it sounds cooler so I'll just stick with that.

In Seremban, E-Team can also mean Eating Team.

There are a few things to say about Seremban - good things. It's small - quite like Kuching! Everywhere is near everywhere and near really means near! So many birds in the air (we can infer that there's lots of bird poop as well but still nice la to drive with a view of swarms of birds)!

I have never experienced generosity to the extent that I did in Seremban. I was blessed to the very extreme! A lovely couple opened their home to us and that was a super awesome treat. A part-time BCM-er brought me to visit STM (Seminari Theologi Malaysia) and I made new acquaintances over the weekend. All our meals were... paid for. I especially enjoyed my first meal in Seremban - Cheese Baked Rice with Pork in iDelicious!

This church showed me what Agape looks like.

Fear and apprehension.

Those were the first emotions I got in touch with when I stepped into IQ70plus – the home for mentally challenged children – for the first time. Inquisitiveness and my spirit of adventure quickly evaporated at the sight of a mentally challenged person moving towards me. My imagination went wild. See, I thought that mentally challenged people were mentally ill/disturbed or demon-possessed like those in the asylum and I thought they would hurt me. Hence, I moved closer to the caretaker who seemed to be the only normal person in the house. It took me some time to feel comfortable.

I looked around, asked some questions and tried to get used to the surrounding of faces staring at me with their distorted facial features and some contorted bodies.

There was this dark child. I mistook her for a boy for the most part of the time I was there. She couldn’t tell me otherwise. She held a picture book, pointed at an image and slurred “kalur” (colour) and “meow” (cat). She touched my hand and I flinched. Again, the fear of violent assault crossed my mind. I was afraid that this mentally challenged child would hit me. But she took my hand and placed it on the book. I pointed to the images and said something about colours, clothes, the cat, shoes and bed, and turned to the next page. We did that for the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes is quite some time – especially if the book only has five pages. At the end of it, she was no smarter, and I was a little more enlightened. At least, that is what I hope.

About a month later, I visited again – mainly to speak to one of the workers there in order to fulfill my assignment and hopefully, to learn something as well.

Meet Suseela who was 6 months into the job as a carer, a devoted 44-year-old Hindu woman with short hair that made her look ten years younger. A long, long time ago, it was her dream to become what she is today – a carer for the mentally challenged. Not many people have this “calling” it seems (or perhaps they turn a deaf ear?). Yet, can we really blame them? It is extremely difficult to love a person who (due to the limitations of their mental faculties) cannot love you back. Suseela possesses an innate love and compassion for the children, as well as her love for her Hindu god. “Mesti sabar dan mesti sayang mereka” is a summary of how she deals with the challenges that come with caring for 31 children along with a few other workers.

The children are, for the most part, happy persons. They know not many things, and they know not that they know not.

Bibi is a 16-year-old shirtless boy with a shaved head and hands in his diapers. One thing that he likes is to play with soap. More accurately, if he is not given soap, he would play with excrement. BoyBoy is an underweight, pleasant, obedient boy who comes when called. There’s also an adult guy (these children aren’t exactly children in terms of their physical age) who helpfully folded clothes and carried them in with a big smile on his face.

Some lie on the ground, unable to get up and walk because the mental handicap prevents them from learning how to. Others sit on chairs, looking like they watch television all day long but it is more likely that they are in their own world doing their own thing. They grow old and bigger in size physically, but their minds remain that of an infant.

And I wondered, what purpose does their existence serve?

I think one reason is that they serve to remind us. To remind us that we are not all that complete either and that we will never be perfectly complete (physically, mentally and spiritually) as long as we remain on this earth, finite and fallen. They remind us to be grateful for what we already possess – our mental faculties. That I am able to write this reflection paper and you are able to read and understand it is something to be thankful to God about. They teach us to love, though they themselves are unable to love.

Still, after all the assignments are written, the nagging question remains.

Do we really care?

In about a week, I will land in the good ol' airport of Kuching, grin a big grin and consume all the good food (only five dishes come to mind at this moment) and just CHILL~~ WITH MA DOGGIES AND PARENTS AND FRIENDS.

For some reason, life in the dorm gives me almost the same feeling as life back in my East Malaysian room. It feels normal! Which is great, really. That said, I get a different roommate each semester and my level of enjoyment in the dorm will probably vary according to whether or not I click with the roommate but for now, all is well so that's all I have to say on this matter.

I get to go to chapel almost everyday which is pretty awesome. Studies are interesting! Assignments are endless! Reading is work! Thankfully all I have to do is turn the Introvert-Recluse-Get-Reading-With-Perhaps-Some-Food switch on, get reading for some hours (with a little Facebook in between, I'll admit) and I come out of it feeling like I did a fantastic honest day's labour which makes me feel cool... like a nerd. This is how I roll...

I know my blog posts seem to make my life sound all happy and perfect but oh no, my friend, life isn't perfect, it's just that God gives me cheer (and tolerance haha) to make the best of it and he's given me so many blessings I really shouldn't complain at all. I am learning, one day at a time.

I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes. - Romans 1:16

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. - John 1:12

O_O

^_^

._.

HELLO. yeah... hi.

I haven't blogged in so long, I think I've become really awkward with it.

Anyway, let's get down to business.

Since August 19,
- I've experienced a whirlwind of experiences - some good, some not so good; some eccentric, some breathtaking.

- I've met people (probably the second most important thing you'd want to meet in the journey of life) - some super kind, loving and truly respect-worthy, some slightly odd... but they're still people nonetheless.

- I've gone to Mid Valley Megamall too many times. The first week I was here, I went twice. This week, I went three times. It's like the Spring of KL. I went to buy necessities, food, and a very necessary pair of formal pants and an even more necessary pair of flats. I really hope these are good investments and last as long as possible because they took me almost forever to get them and they're stinking expensive by Kuching standards!

- I've listened to an Old Testament scholar teach Lamentations in the most interesting way. In this area of education, I am extremely blessed to have him as my lecturer (Fun fact: this guy taught my dad too!)

- I've taken up classes you'd never be able to take in a normal school. Out of the blue, it would hit me that I am actually in a Bible college. I think it hasn't fully dawned on me that I AM IN A BIBLE COLLEGE. Like, wow, hey I'm in a Bible college... yeah.

- I've volunteered (or rather, I was volunteered by my college) to be a volunteer at a huge conference. That was a pretty cool experience considering the fact that I met a few thousand people, heard many life stories and testimonies of God's providence and I was able to usher people, something I've never quite done before? PR skills definitely improved. That said, being an extroverted introvert (or ambivert), I was in desperate need of a recharge (eg. rest and sleep). And being in wedges for many hours hurts!!

- I've learnt - like, really learnt - about being a normal sister in Christ to the men and women here. I suppose I only just realised that I struggle a bit with this acceptance thing... I don't know if they'll accept the real me; yet I don't actually worry about this nor do I consciously hide my personality. It's a vague feeling that I can't really put my finger on... Anyway, when I understand myself better, I am free to be a normal sister to them and I'd treat them like they're my sibling lah (still working on feeling comfortable with that but that's the ideal.)

All the above, every single thing written above, was given to me by God. He is the one that allowed me to enter Bible college (I thought I wasn't going to be accepted and felt so disappointed tbh), he gave me these experiences and he is still teaching me!

There's a vast difference between knowing about God and knowing God; between studying theology and practicing what Jesus taught. What I learnt at the college's annual camp is that God is interested in me, not my degrees. My degrees are but tools for his glory.

God is interested in you, not your degrees. Your degrees are but tools for his glory.

Lastly,

Mom and Dad, May and Ray, Lara, Cookie, Inky, Tiger, Vader, I love you all.

Happy birthday to me!

I am nineteen years old now.

This birthday is going to remain in my memory with a fond, sentimental feeling, aye. And if I ever forget, I'll just reread this blog post and be reminded of God's blessings in my life.

The night before the Day was celebrated with and by my wonderful "juniors" (who are mostly older than me haha) at Secret Recipe. Is that incredible or what? It's incredible!!! They got me a devotional book from the Logos Hope which is one of the best gifts I've ever received!

We went from Secret Recipe to the Waterfront to a sampan ride across the Sarawak River to kek lapis tasting to the Bazaar Ramadan to supper at Open Air till midnight! Midnight!!! I can't help feeling really happy and thankful inside for my friends whom I've only known since February 2013.

Thank you Brenda, Shu Wern, Wui Kong, Jeffrey for making me feel so loved. I love you all.

Thank you God for giving me these lovely friends.

So the Day arrived, and kind messages were received from some more caring people. Also received two key chains and a letter from a friend in West Malaysia and an email from Korea and Facebook wishes from lotsa peeps! You know who you are and here's a big grin for you :D!!!

My siblings (who are the best siblings in my eyes) are really good at announcing to the world that their baby sister aged a little. May showers me with too many praises and I am pleased heheheehehe.

I am extremely encouraged today. And so I would like to encourage you to keep loving and appreciating the people around you! Take care, and may God bless you richly!

For every day I have on earth
Is given by the King

So I will give my life, my all

To love and follow Him.

- song: My Heart Is Filled With Thankfulness

Traits that make a friendship what it is or what it isn't
I've realised over the years but today made the thought more recent.

And I've found that what it isn't was mostly in my friendships present.
Hence I ask myself: Why did I invest so much in a mess that like the tiger turned its back, not turning its head?
You just don't appreciate.

But that's exactly what I myself have done.
What I keep doing to the Son.
I've forgotten, left him standing there.
Walked right on without a care.

Expectations stacked like the Eiffel,
I put my hope in people.
And was let down, rightfully so,
Like the drizzle.

Disappointments are bound to come
But there's One
Who won't let you down.
Who waits for you to come around.
Who remains the same.
Who loves you with a fiery love no one can tame.

He is Jesus, the Son of the living God.

Wow it has been again, a few months since I last wrote. Boy, have things changed so much (actually, it seems like I have changed much since my high school days, it's almost mind blowing). Anyway, exams are just around the corner. I can't complain, really... life's been pretty good.

Friends, ah, there's always something to write about them (or the lack of them). They come and go... mostly go. But let's not focus on those who go because they're just a bunch of people who don't care about me and who shouldn't take up any more of my blog space than they already have. Haha just kidding. I do, however, wonder why some would rather roll with the crowd than with me hahaha. Jokes aside, the friends that do stick around are such lovely people. But they sure are rare. *thoughtful sigh*

These last couple of months have seen me getting second at a moot competition, brushing up on my social skills, purchasing a new phone, dealing with my acne situation, getting to know some people better, removing minor threats from my facebook, eating too much lui cha and laksa, eating breakfast alone with teh kecil, studying law haha, applying to a college, driving my sister around and doing things I don't usually do... ;)

I graduate from A-levels soon. I will see you then. Adios loves!

*chirck*

That's the sound of me snapping my last KitKat in two. It will probably be completely gone way before this post is published.

I've got so many things to thank my Lord for.

My AS results, friends and new friends, just to name a few!

I am grateful for the Whatsappy presence of some who, though they're physically far away, remain close to their phones... so that I can contact them whenever! Angeline Ting is one of them.

It has been amazing, making new friends and getting to know other friends better!

I used to think that I would leave SEGi not missing anyone or anything (mostly because of the "no one cares about anyone" culture) but things seem to be turning out differently in my last semester here.

I am doing things I love, hanging out with people whose company I thoroughly enjoy, and studying subjects I don't really like but it's okay (UGH ACCOUNTING HOW I DISLIKE YOU)! Strange how things change. And though I really like where I'm at now, things will continue to change- sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. People walk in and out of your life and you cannot stop them. So I'll appreciate them and try to soak in every moment and experience.

And I hope that God will remind me of these good memories when the tough times come around. :)

Whoa, it's already a week into February and I haven't yet posted a post this year.

But now, I have.

Ha.

What can I say about 2013 so far? Quite good lah...

Do you know that every time I begin to write a post, I will feel the urgent need to use my time to study instead?! Well yeah, so I'm going to do just that.

Ciao and Happy Chinese New Year!!!