This last month has seen
Yours truly oscillating
Between mixed emotions
To her joy and chagrin
Decisions and mistakes
Sickness and starry eyes
Burdens and blessings
Good food and goodbyes
There's much I've come to love
And a good lot that I learnt
Now greater my appreciation
Of people and a Person
Great is God's faithfulness
May I never forget
This well-spent year
Is a proof of that
So, BCM (yup!)
BCM is the place to be
Forever in my <3
Signed with love, Rene.
Farewell for now, my lovely people in BCM. I love you all.
25 Jul 2014
10 Jul 2014
Sunday 29 June, I began feeling feverish in Genting and all the way to BCM. Then the fever came and the thought did occur to me that hey, my forehead is actually pretty hot, I wonder if my head would burn up.
About two days later, the fever left and all seemed to be fine. But I was not as sharp, my mind and movements seemed to be quite slow. Then, I started to feel tired no matter how much I'd sleep. And very thirsty too, but no amount of water would stop my dry lips from cracking at the edges.
Thursday 3 July, I went to view a room and ended up renting it yay! That's one thing down, and I'm glad.
Saturday 5 July, little red bumps started appearing under my skin, rashes! I had no fever at that time so I didn't think it would be da da da dengue! Sunday came and went and the rashes got more obvious. Oh and I had a great time teaching the ladies and hopefully they learnt something as well. About three of them said that the lesson was good and that they could understand it ;)
Monday 7 July, I was brought to the clinic. Did a blood test and guess what, I did have dengue. Platelet count was at 109. No wonder I was so absolutely tired the last few days. Then I thought, what if I die today? What if my platelet count drops to a dangerous level and I am unable to get to the hospital in time? I was afraid to fall asleep. Then I reasoned with myself, why do you fear? God holds your life in his hands. Do you believe that? Do you really believe?? O God help my unbelief!
Tuesday 8 July, I was brought to the clinic for a second blood test. Platelet count increased to 130+ so this means that my body was able to overcome the virus and was on the road to recovery.
I really, really want to thank God for preserving my life. I had dengue for a week and did so many things without knowing my life was at risk the whole time - I have been spared! It's crazy! I still have life on earth and it must not be squandered! There are no words but thank You.
About two days later, the fever left and all seemed to be fine. But I was not as sharp, my mind and movements seemed to be quite slow. Then, I started to feel tired no matter how much I'd sleep. And very thirsty too, but no amount of water would stop my dry lips from cracking at the edges.
Thursday 3 July, I went to view a room and ended up renting it yay! That's one thing down, and I'm glad.
Saturday 5 July, little red bumps started appearing under my skin, rashes! I had no fever at that time so I didn't think it would be da da da dengue! Sunday came and went and the rashes got more obvious. Oh and I had a great time teaching the ladies and hopefully they learnt something as well. About three of them said that the lesson was good and that they could understand it ;)
Monday 7 July, I was brought to the clinic. Did a blood test and guess what, I did have dengue. Platelet count was at 109. No wonder I was so absolutely tired the last few days. Then I thought, what if I die today? What if my platelet count drops to a dangerous level and I am unable to get to the hospital in time? I was afraid to fall asleep. Then I reasoned with myself, why do you fear? God holds your life in his hands. Do you believe that? Do you really believe?? O God help my unbelief!
Tuesday 8 July, I was brought to the clinic for a second blood test. Platelet count increased to 130+ so this means that my body was able to overcome the virus and was on the road to recovery.
I really, really want to thank God for preserving my life. I had dengue for a week and did so many things without knowing my life was at risk the whole time - I have been spared! It's crazy! I still have life on earth and it must not be squandered! There are no words but thank You.
The other day we watched a short clip of Christians being executed for their faith. And then, I was confronted with an issue regarding certain groups of people who are controversial.
I have been living in a bubble.
Well, I can't say that's a new realisation, I have known that for some time. But only now have I popped it (the bubble) just a little, and I am waiting for it to pop even more. I have a feeling that each time it pops a little, there will be a struggle in me. It will hurt, and I will grow.
The sooner I internalize the fact that we are not living in a happy world, the better. The earlier I understand that life will not treat me nicely, the better. The faster I lose this attitude of entitlement to all things good and perfect, the better.
Why?
Because that is the way the world is - it's broken! And Jesus never taught us to live a safe, comfortable, happy life, but he does tell us that there will be richly provided for us an entrance into the eternal kingdom if we walk with him. I have not been placed on this earth to make me happy, hiding myself from the "bad" things happening do not make them go away. Nope, I have been placed here to do something to help. The blessings that have already been received and the blessings that will be received far outweigh all the sorrows that we will experience on this earth.
So anyway, the other day I was confronted with a fear of mine. I realised that I can be afraid of people and what they would do to me, people on the streets who may be homeless, drug addicts - people of different backgrounds, beliefs and baggage. Here, I would like to remind myself that I am as broken as the next guy/gal. Whatever preconceived ideas, stereotypes and irrational fears I've had about people must be overcome. I need to learn to see them with the eyes of compassion and love.
A passage comes to mind.
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me. (Gal 2:20)
God has done so much for me, I seriously have got to live right by him, I have got to learn to love my neighbours.
I have been living in a bubble.
Well, I can't say that's a new realisation, I have known that for some time. But only now have I popped it (the bubble) just a little, and I am waiting for it to pop even more. I have a feeling that each time it pops a little, there will be a struggle in me. It will hurt, and I will grow.
The sooner I internalize the fact that we are not living in a happy world, the better. The earlier I understand that life will not treat me nicely, the better. The faster I lose this attitude of entitlement to all things good and perfect, the better.
Why?
Because that is the way the world is - it's broken! And Jesus never taught us to live a safe, comfortable, happy life, but he does tell us that there will be richly provided for us an entrance into the eternal kingdom if we walk with him. I have not been placed on this earth to make me happy, hiding myself from the "bad" things happening do not make them go away. Nope, I have been placed here to do something to help. The blessings that have already been received and the blessings that will be received far outweigh all the sorrows that we will experience on this earth.
So anyway, the other day I was confronted with a fear of mine. I realised that I can be afraid of people and what they would do to me, people on the streets who may be homeless, drug addicts - people of different backgrounds, beliefs and baggage. Here, I would like to remind myself that I am as broken as the next guy/gal. Whatever preconceived ideas, stereotypes and irrational fears I've had about people must be overcome. I need to learn to see them with the eyes of compassion and love.
A passage comes to mind.
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me. (Gal 2:20)
God has done so much for me, I seriously have got to live right by him, I have got to learn to love my neighbours.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)